Every Name Has a Story

A few nights ago I was having a conversation with a dear friend, and somehow part of my testimony came into the conversation. I felt compelled to share my story, in the past few weeks I have had a few people tell me I need to share my story. I hope my story helps someone, as other's have helped me. 

I was born and raised in the mountains of South Carolina. I was raised in Church on and off my entire life. My life was a roller coaster. At one point I thought I was saved and thought I was living the right life. Then I drifted from Christ and church. I wasn’t living the life I should have been living. I lived in sin. I now know that I never knew Christ the way I do today. I know that he has always been beside me, but I never had a relationship with him till January 2011. 

A friend of mine had posted on her facebook a link to Newspring Church right after Christmas of 2010. So, I clicked on it and if my memory is right it was the first Sunday of 2011. I was hooked; I wanted to know more about this Church and Christ. The next Sunday they started a new series called Make War. The first week’s sermon was titled Choosing sides. (By the way you can find all this at Newspring.cc)

“And the Philistines stood on the mountain on the one side, and Israel stood on the mountain on the other side, with a valley between them.”—1 Samuel 17:3

Two mountains. Two camps. Two sides. There’s no middle ground; the battle is going to happen in the valley in between. Are you going to run and hide? Or stay and fight? Newspring.cc

Pastor Perry preached about life and death; you are either with Christ or against him. Either you’re alive or you’re dead. That sermon spoke to me in so many ways. I had been running from Christ, putting him off for years and using the excuse that I couldn't find a church to call home. I had been telling myself that I didn't need a Church to be a Christian. Man, oh man, was I wrong. We cannot do life alone.  January 9, 2011. I accepted Christ into my heart and I knew he was there with me. I was determined to change my life from there on out. We started watching every Sunday online. But my heart still felt empty. Like I was missing something, I had an empty place in my heart. I wouldn’t fill that hole until 2012 when we joined Newspring. But I still had some very rough months ahead of me.

In the spring Jayson was to get out of the Marines. He had done his 8 years and it was time for us to move on. I feared that he wouldn’t be able to find a job. All the jobs that we told would be there when he got out in Beaufort fell through. From April till June Jayson applied to many different jobs. The only job that seemed like it could have potential was in Sumter, SC. I prayed and prayed for Jayson to find a job locally. Nothing happened, so I prayed for God to break my heart to show me his will and what he wanted in our lives. That if we needed to move to get a job, we would. The week before Father’s day, Jayson got the job in Sumter.

I went through so many emotions; gratitude, devastation, sadness, anger. You name it I felt it. I had to quit my job that I had worked so hard to finally get. We had to move out of our home, and I wouldn’t be able to see my god daughter on a daily basis anymore.  My dreams crashed and burned.

So, as I stood in my empty living room the first week of July. I cried and cried. Our lives were changing. The life we knew was no longer. I tried to remain calm and cling to my faith that month. I knew that God had something planned for us. Even though I did not like any of the change that was happening; Jayson had a job and we were healthy. Can you tell I didn’t like change?

Change had to happen. At this point, we still did not have anyone to rent our home. I didn’t have a job, so we were forced to put the house up for a short sale. And I prayed to God that it would sell and wouldn’t go into foreclosure.  It still is currently for sell.

So months went by and I still didn’t have a new job. So I was forced to stay home with Jacob. And I know that most people think that is a blessing, but at that time I didn’t. I felt as if I had failed. All that I had done was for nothing. Being a stay at home mom was never in my plans. However, it was in God’s plans.

 I started attending Newspring in October of 2011. Jayson was on nights and wasn’t able to attend with me at that time. I finally felt like I had a church to call home. I had been attending for about a month and then I felt the Lord calling me to be baptized, that I needed to take that next step, to have faith, and go public. It wasn’t the first time I felt this, but I knew I needed to do it now.

So, the Sunday before Thanksgiving I was baptized. I also felt God telling me I needed to tithe. To stop ignoring it and stop tithing when I felt it was convenient for me. I needed to start putting him first in every way in our lives. I had surrendered every other way in my life but tithing. I was scared and worried we wouldn’t make it if I tied. Within one month of us tithing Jayson was given overtime. Jayson’s pay is based on salary. So, most people don’t get overtime when they reach eighty hours. But his work allowed this.  Looking back now it was same exact amount I was making when I worked, after I paid daycare for Jacob. That is the only place in the bible the Lord says we can test him.

¹⁰ Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. Malachi 3:10 (NIV)

Time and time again the Lord continues to provide for our family. Since we started tithing, Jayson has received two raises. My school has been paid for and we found a home to rent after the current one has been sold.

In December I picked Jacob up from Kidspring and I met someone that Jacob had taken to. He had a buddy, named Brad. Jacob is a very loving child and will go to anyone. But He took to Brad and Brad became close to Jacob. I still was searching for a small group. He said that he would get his wife to call me and they would find a group for us. Over the next few weeks I feel back into a routine of just attending Church on Sunday. Nothing changed; I didn’t allow anything to change. I was stuck again.

Then one Sunday in February, I bumped into Brad’s wife, Aimee and their two little boys. I introduced myself and Jacob. Then after the service I had sat down with her to talk. She told me how much a difference Jacob made in Brad’s life. That Jacob had such a special heart. I was blown away with that; that my little boy could make such a difference in someone’s life. I was in awe of how God uses children to heal people. So Aimee took down my number and invited us their small group.

Jayson still hadn’t attended church with me more than a few times, partially because of work and I’m still not sure the reason why for the other times. So, I took him to their small group one night in March but told him it was a dinner at the Knights house. Wasn’t completely honest with him, oops! Sorry Jayson. From that moment on we had a small group. I have never felt more welcome by a group of Christians and loved by them.

That next month brought more change into my life. I had been battling depression for many months and was in denial about it. I broke down. I was damaged. I was hurt and I didn’t know how to fix it. No one really knew about everything I was battling. Not until I broke down with Jayson did he know. But two incredible women at church made me feel that being damaged is okay. They taught me that we cannot do things alone and in Christ there is no Condemnation. They prayed with me and for the first time ever I felt like I could overcome this. I left everything at the cross.  

Jayson started attending church with me more and more. By the end of April we were owners and Jayson was baptized.  We have a church to call home finally!!

For 7 years I had been praying that Jayson would come to Christ and all along he had given his heart to Christ in boot camp. He just never continued with finding a church and pursuing him afterwards. Something I didn’t know until we joined Newspring. After that Jayson was baptized in April and we both became active in the church. I continue to see God change Jayson and I.

One of the core values of Newspring is that Growing people change. For someone that doesn’t like Change. I welcome this change. Because I know there is a greater plan for my life. God has plans for Jayson and I. I don’t know what they are. But even though I don’t always like the change that has happened in the past year, I know it was necessary. Because Jayson and I wouldn’t be where we are today without that change. I know that through all the health problems Jayson and I both struggle with, our marriage, our lives. God is there, everything has to go through his hands.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of Joy I have in my life now. I know that there will be hard days. I still struggle with my depression. But I pick up my cross daily. Because I know Jesus is with me. Nothing will take me down when he is beside me. And the days when my burdens are too much, he will carry them for me.