Marine Wives

Recently someone asked me if I could give any advice on what I learned as a Marine wife. I felt honored but it took me a while to figure out the best advice I could give. Above all, communication, talk to each, talk and talk some more! You make the best out of little time. No matter what you have to be your husband’s number one supporter, sometimes you have to have an enormous amount of patience’s, and sometimes it just sucks!

Sometime last year I was doing something as simple as cutting the grass and someone approached me  with the comment of “you do it all, don’t you?” I replied “yes ma’am; I can do just about anything.” In that moment I realized how strong and adaptable you have to be, to be a military wife. You live and you learn how to adapt on your own.  This came from years of trial and error during our time in the Marines.  

Jayson was only in the Marines for eight years, I don’t have as much experience as some. Which, I have so much respect for the career wives and their husbands.  

I have seen dear friends go through deployments every other year, the very long hours of a drill instructors life, their husbands coming back a different man and the ones that never got to say goodbye.  You live your life with the uncertainty that everything and anything can change at any moment.

At the same time most wives will tell you they wouldn’t have it any other way. We met some amazing friends through our eight years.  Some of the best times were with our military friends, which some we call family now.  I have an adopted big sister and a beautiful god daughter thanks to the Marine Corps. I was blessed to meet some of the strongest women I have ever met, that I can call my friends.

I have been told more than once by other women that they could never be a military wife. If you would have told me ten years ago that I would be where I am, I would have called you a liar.  It’s amazing where you find strength, as a military wife.  So here is my story.

August 17, 2005 we got a phone call at 11:30pm for Jayson to be ready to leave the next day. I knew what that phone call was about before Jayson ever hung up. It was two weeks ahead of schedule, and two weeks before our first wedding anniversary. I remember that day like it was yesterday.  Nothing went right that day, I remember Jay leaving for work at 6:00 am only to return at 7:30 to grab his gear. That would be the last day he’d stand in our home for eight months.  Trying to run around and get all his gear, at one moment he had me standing in his c-bag in the middle of our living room so he could get more gear in it. We both just laughed, and cried. He left, and I ran around trying to get things he needed.  Time went by so fast that day and before I knew it I got to call to come to base at four o’clock to say our goodbyes. I went and got him subway and I remember picking him up and driving to other side of base. We didn’t even know what to say to each other. I just held his hand and I was fortunate to get a hug and kiss. I watched him get out of the car and walk to the hanger; he was gone just like that.  

The next day really tested what I was made of, my car broke down, my cell phone quit and the ATM took my card. Luckily, there was a salon nearby to let me call someone that knew Jayson to come look at my car.  I got in touch with people on base to bring me Jayson’s cell phone and power of attorney. Everything that could have went wrong the first week he was gone, went wrong. But I had school starting next week and a job I had to maintain. So I pulled myself together and went with it.

In those eight months I became a very independent person. I also met some incredible women that I love dearly. They were my rocks when I thought I couldn’t do it. Looking back now it just prepared me for an even tougher battle. When Jayson got back…

Now I know every military couple struggle when their spouse returns from a deployment and every family has an adjustment period. I know that it never gets easy telling them goodbye with each deployment and each time they return.

 We were very fortuned to only experience one. I am very thankful and blessed that Jayson came back in one piece, at least physically. I had him home with me, and that is something I have never taken for granted. But I did take for granted him being my husband.  We both were different people, we had changed. The couple we were, we all of a sudden weren’t, and we had to start over.  Almost like meeting each other for the first time.

For the next 4 years it was a battle, between the Marine Corps, his health problems and finding us again. Through all the tears and struggles we came out on top and in 2010 I gave birth to our little boy. Every struggle was just a stepping stone for something better. We both became stronger people because of all of the ups and downs we went through with the military. It has almost been a year since he got out of the Marines. So now looking back at those eight years, I see the good more than I see the struggles.  I remember the men and women they changed our lives forever. They will always be our Military family no matter how far they live from us now.

“When you pass through waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  Isaiah 43:2”